Just Another Blogpost on Being Single

Aren’t there enough articles about being single already?

Every time I see one, I think the answer to that question is yes. (Which is why I’ve never written one…along with the fact that I don’t want everyone to know I’m single and then proceed to try to “help” me change that.)

But I read them anyway. Every. time.

And every time, I still get something new out of it. Maybe it’s just one of those messages we need to hear over and over. (Which is why I finally decided to share some of my thoughts on the subject…along with the fact that a friend recently shared a post with me about being single and said “It sounds like something you would write.” But one big thing was different about what I would write.)

 

When I say I’m happy being single, the response is one of three things:

  1. “Really?”
  2. “How?”
  3. Or my personal favorite, the confident future-predicting, “You’ll find someone.”

Occasionally there’s some form of “Good for you! Being married does not make you happy.” No matter what, the surprised or confused or shocked faces are priceless.

 

I’m not opposed to getting married myself (although I admit I kinda used to be), but I also don’t think it’s necessary in order to have a good or complete life. And I don’t think simply being married means you automatically have a good or complete life.

I mentioned that I’ve read many articles on being single, but I’ve read just as many on being married. Both lifestyles have their ups and downs.

For some reason, people ask my opinion on relationships even for their marriages when they know I’ve never been married. Ok, maybe just one person, who happens to be related to me, does that.

But still, I like having a helpful reply. So even if I don’t use what I learn about marriage for myself (although many of the ideas shared in those articles can be applied to other relationships), I can pass the information on to others going through that particular situation.

 

Before I share the reasons I’m happy being single, let me say that even though other posts have included things they like about being single, such lists that I’ve read are usually preceded or followed by reasons they don’t like being single.

It’s not a bad thing. I think it’s great that people who don’t like being single can still find good things to focus on about it while they aren’t married. In fact, that optimism will help them once they do get married.

That’s just not me.

What about those of us who really are fine either way? Or even prefer being single? It’s not that we don’t realize there are benefits to being married.

If marriage comes to my life: Awesome. I’m in good company.

If not: Awesome. I’m in good company.

Which leads me to one of the first of 5 things I like about being single (which is by no means a complete list…but I preferred not to waste your time with mostly reasons that are shared on every post about being single)…

5 Reasons I'm Happy Being Single

By the way, this is a picture of me with my brother in Alaska on our 40 day road trip.

  1. All the {incredible} single ladies: Jane Austen, Corrie ten Boom, and Mother Teresa to name a few that immediately come to mind. Their influence and stories are an encouragement that I too can make a difference as a single lady.
  2. I’ve got one less problem without you {life insurance}. (I promise that’s the last of my weird song references. My apologies.) But ahh, one less stress and one less monthly bill. That’s right. I don’t need life insurance because no one else is depending on my income.
  3. If I never get married, I’ll never get divorced. Do not judge the deeper psychological issues going on here. 🙂 Yes, my parents are divorced, but as my brother pointed out to me, it apparently did not affect my 4 siblings like it did me. Three of them are married and the younger one hopes to be. Still, it’s nice to know 100% that it won’t happen to me as a single.
  4. I like my last name. (Starbuck, for those of you who don’t know.) When other people comment on it, I sometimes tell them it’s why I’m never getting married. I think I’ll keep it.
  5. Then there’s the typical, I have more freedom because I’m not coordinating my life with a spouse or children. Yes, I could still go on road trips or overseas or move in order to get a better job or build a tiny house, but with a family it’s usually a much bigger decision and a lot more work.

Knowing I am loved is the biggest contributor to all of this happiness with my life right now. Plenty of people care about me. I don’t need a spouse or gasp even a boyfriend in order to feel loved.

And plenty of people are married to, or dating, someone who makes them feel quite unloved.

Just as being single isn’t what makes me happy, being married isn’t what makes married people happy. There are things about being single that contribute to my happiness, just as there are things about marriage that contribute to theirs.

Whether you’re single or married or divorced or widowed, you are loved by Someone.

And that’s a mighty fine reason to be happy.

 

 

What do you think? Are you happy being single? What are your favorite things about it? Do you think there are too many posts about being single? Who is your favorite person who never married?

 

Leave your thoughts in the comment section below to let me know! Thanks for reading…and don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter if you’d like to receive updates of posts such as this along with some fun bonus materials and freebies:

 

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Also, check out my friend’s blog in which she shares her Knot List (like a Bucket List of things you want to do before you get married or “tie the knot”…yes, she went sky diving!).

 

6 Comments Just Another Blogpost on Being Single

  1. Julia Cann

    Just recently I have gotten to the point where I can actually say (without any hint of sarcasm or bitterness) that I am content being single. Before I would say it, but deep inside I could tell I was lying to myself. Now, I’m actually very pleased with where I am. God has revealed so much to me and is shaping me into the person He wants me to become, and it would have been very hard to do that whilst in a relationship (I haven’t used the word whilst in a sentence before! It feel so cool! Whilst! heehee).
    I’m just starting a new chapter in my life too and I wouldn’t have been able to make the decisions I’ve made if I had someone else to consider. After I finish my Education Degree, I’m free to find a job in whatever country I choose! Yay!
    Not saying that I never want to get married. But, I’m getting to the point where I am content accepting whatever God has in store for me: marriage or not!
    I also LOVE the Bucket Marriage List! I have my own, but I call it the Cann list: Everything I want to do before I “kick the Cann”! Get it? Cann is my last name…and you change your last name when you get married? heehee

    But you are right, even though everyone and their dog as a post about single life, it is something we need to be reminded of! Being single is NOT the end of the world! And being married is NOT the be all end all! No matter what life throws at us, we must learn to be content with who we are and where we are!

    Reply
    1. mcstarbuck@gmail.com

      Way to use the word “whilst”! 🙂 I’m glad you were able to get to that place of contentment. LOVE the “Kick the Cann” pun. Can’t wait to see what country (or countries?) you explore. I think we are kindred spirits. 🙂 Maybe our paths will cross in real-life someday!

      Reply
  2. Paul

    I agree with you pretty much wholeheartedly. I’m not against being in a relationship at all but I’m very picky and have some high standards. Yes, I want it all. And at my age, it is pretty hard to find someone who has all of that and is single. Brains and Beauty and Personality and Character. It has to be worth it to give up the single life and for me that takes something more than the average hot chick. Of course there are the less desirable aspects of being single but having a close knit group of friends helps with the fact that you wake up in an empty house sometimes. Many people think that Time is not really on my side because people assume you’re damaged goods or messed up if you’re 32 and not married but I subscribe less and less to the conventional social standards as I get older haha (Tiny Houses).

    I recently was the victim of the ‘matchmaker’ person who, without my consent, started showing my picture around to some “interesting” matches. Wow. Someone who met me once is trying to match me up to their ‘nice’ friend with a ‘good personality’. Is this really the person they think I should date? They don’t even know my type. As if because two people are single, they should date. And not only that, but settle. Its more than a little insulting.

    What I like most about being single is the freedom. I don’t have to run anything by someone first. I can do whatever I want, there is no compromise. I can work overtime or not, I can hang out with my friends without a second thought. I eat when I want, sleep when I want, never leave the house or never come home. I can have my own space and I don’t have to share anything. I’m telling you it spoils you, the freedom does.

    Another thing I love is the lack of drama. Life is too short to worry about stupid things. Nobody is nagging me about hanging up t shirts instead of piling them neatly on the dresser a foot high lol. I can sleep in my bed without fear of snoring or blanket thieves or cold feet 🙂

    I suppose I should just own up and say I hate dating. It’s expensive for me and I’m already broke. I’m uncomfortable meeting people that I don’t know and I actually, really don’t want to meet my future wife on the internet. I just don’t. Perhaps that’s a bit silly being that its 2014 but I do like to hold some notion of romance in the stories I tell my kids about how I met their mom. “I met her on a dating website” doesn’t really rank up there if you know what I mean.

    I honestly don’t care what people think about me being 32 and single. I know who I am and what I like and I’ll wait for the right person because I’m okay with that and I’m not going to settle because, between you and me, I’m pretty awesome and I deserve to be happy. So in conclusion, I’m single because I’m selfish, narcissistic, and shallow LOL.

    Reply
    1. mcstarbuck@gmail.com

      That’s so great! I’m glad you touched on several things I didn’t fit into the post. There’s just so much to say. 🙂 I’m excited to have a house someday so that I can relate to what you shared even more than I already do. Oh, one thing I’m on the fence about is online dating. I don’t do it myself, but I’ve been quite (& pleasantly) surprised by an amazing family member who met someone on a dating website. They now have 4 kids! Anyway, that’s only one out of everyone I know, haha.

      Reply
  3. Sierra

    Thanks for sharing! I honestly thought I was the only one who felt this way. I think I’d actually prefer to not be married or in a relationship, because it’s easier, less stressful, and I can do what I want when I want, but I’m open to a relationship if he is an amazing person who is in alignment with my values, dreams, & goals.

    Reply
    1. mcstarbuck@gmail.com

      Exactly! Thanks for letting me know this resonates with you. I’d love to hear more of your story. 🙂 I hope things go well with all your dreams!

      Reply

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